he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
