We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
