He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize