Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I touched a dick in church today
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
