can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
