you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
