Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
