I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
