Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
