i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
