The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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