You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
