I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
