remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
