i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can text with my tongue
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
