your room smells of hookers.
And success
wakey wakey hands off snakey
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
