Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
