saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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