I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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