If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
