We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I came so hard my ears popped.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
