They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
