to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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