i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
