I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
