did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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