don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
