I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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