Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
