Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
