seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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