so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
