ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
