I'm going to rape someone's good day.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
