they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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