Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
