Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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