I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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