Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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