Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
