i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
