I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
