im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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