Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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