I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize