I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
