I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
