I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize