Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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