Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize