i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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