i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
