I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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