Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize