i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
