i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
