This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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