I want to have your abortion
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize