The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
