What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize