my vag is so smooth its legendary
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
