so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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