some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
