Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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