i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
