I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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